I'm really pissed. I mean royally ticked, seeing red, mad-as-hell. I was talking to my parents about the fact that all of my friends where somewhere else, and I hadn't seen anyone in almost a month. Now I'm a little reluctant to go over to one of my friend's houses recently, because her mom seems to not like me all that much, and I really don't know why, neither do my parents. There had been an incident earlier this year with said friend (i know this sounds really stupid but I would like to leave them anonymous) and her mom freaking out over events buried in the past. I wound up visiting my friend in the hospital (she wasn't actually physically hurt, it's a long story, much longer than I'm willing to type) and as I sit next to my best friend in the hospital, when she doesn't even need to be there! Her mom comes into the room and sits down, just plops down and jumps in on our conversation like everything is hunky-dory...I am doing everything I can to keep from calling her out, because I know if I do I would probably never get to see my best friend ever again, and because I know it's really not my place, but anyone who knows me knows I am VERY opinionated, and it's sometimes hard for me to keep said opinions to myself, but I DID. Still! She's just sitting there, casual, like we're sitting in her living room watching a movie. I'M SITTING NEXT TO HER DAUGHTER IN THE HOSPITAL!!!! ALL BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T TRUST THAT SHE RAISED HER DAUGHTER WELL ENOUGH!!!! (again, loong story).

Now, that was earlier this year, today. I'm sitting on the arm of the sofa, trying to think back to find something I said or did to offend her mom, and I'm thinking out loud a bit. After a little while, "daddy dearest," brings up the hospital thing. Said he didn't think she didn't like me 'cause she was happy I visited her, and I laugh and say, "I was doing all I could not to yell at her," and he goes off again!! About how it's not my place to have an opinion, how I don't have all the facts, I shouldn't meddle in other family's buisness, and I KNOW THAT!!! That's half the reason I didn't yell at her!!! He kept rambling about how my opinions weren't valid, didn't matter. I KNOW THAT!!! but the fact that they don't really matter to the people in the situation isn't going to change the fact that I have them!!! And now, when I try to go back to my room where he's inevitably going to send me anyway I get yelled at! When I dont' want to talk anymore (usually because I'm crying, and I HATE crying. I don't cry in front of anyone except my parents) now I get grounded for saying never-mind!!!!! I hate this!! I have opinions! and just because, "dear-old-dad," doesn't think they're right isn't going to make them go away!!! They raised me to believe what I believe, think my own thoughts. Now that I do, I'm being punished for it!!!! I don't get it!!!

My main point of that whole rant, was because I've been noticing a decline in my father-and-I's ability to hold a decent conversation, I used to be able to talk to him about anything, I could say what I thought and he would say what he thought, but now I say what I think, and I get lectured, told that the way I'm thinking is wrong, that I shouldn't have an opinion on certain topics. It pisses me off!! Because he keeps trying to change the way I think!! I mean I know sometimes my thought processes can be strange, or messed-up, but all of a sudden everything I think is wrong! Every opinion I voice, I shouldn't have!! What happened to the conversations we used to have? Why can't I seem to do anything right anymore?